Praying for My Heart

The past couple days, it’s been a struggle with my heart.

Why would one go against seeing his own kids?
Yes, it would help me too but he gets more time with the kids.. what kind of dad argues against that?
And the fact that me working more would also mean a better life for the kids.. why argue against that?

There is so much more I want to give the kids than just getting by.

This is such a good age for them to get invovled in extracurricular activities but he doesnt want to pay his half for that either and its something I can’t afford on my own.

And not even that but I’m aiming towards a better life for them.
A forever home. Memories. Friends. Experiences.

Each night, I’d go to bed with a bitter heart and I would give it all to God.

Each morning, I wake up with a renewed spirit and a heart filled with joy and love.

My situation isn’t any better but my heart is in a better place.
I couldn’t be more thankful for that.

Sometimes, God isn’t going to change the circumstances, maybe not now, maybe never. But he will always be there.

Continuously praying for my growth in faith and my heart transformation.
I may have forgiven my ex for the past but I also need to forgive him for the present and the future just as God has done for me.

I need to see him through the lenses of God’s grace.
I need to let the annoyance and bitterness go and keep my eyes on the who I CAN depend on 💕


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