I’ll be listening to my friends talk about their newfound interest.
“Oh my Gawd! He’s so cute! And so sweet! We’ll talk on the phone ALL night.”
And then they say, this, “But….”
Cue eye roll.
If you find yourself doing the same thing…
Having a train of all these good things to say only to start the caboose with the word, “but,” there’s really only two smart things you can do.
Either end the relationship or communicate to the guy what your concerns are and take it from there… end it or keep going.
I don’t care how sweet a guy is.
If he don’t love Jesus, he ain’t it for me.
(Real example – my standards, it doesn’t have to be yours)
It wouldn’t matter if he’s rolling in money but doesn’t contribute to make the world a better place.
I don’t care if he’s the smartest guy on Earth but has no ambition or belittles others for their mediocre intelligence.
Maybe he doesn’t text you back as often as you’d like.
Maybe he steals your fries.
Maybe he sucks at planning and confirming dates.
Maybe he disappears for weeks at a time.
Maybe he sucks in bed.
Maybe you guys went double dutch on the first date and you don’t like that.
I don’t know what your standards are and I don’t know what you tolerate and allow and look for in a guy.
But you need to talk to him about whatever is making you second guess the quality of the guy you are seeing. The SECOND you say, “But…,” it signifies discomfort and/or unhappiness.
Don’t brush off your inner-cringe – you know.. the thing that makes you go, “Oooh.. I don’t know if I can stay with a guy like that.” THE BUT.
LISTEN TO IT.
What’s bothering you? Why? Talk to him about it.
If he ignores your suggestion, leads you on by saying he will work on it but doesn’t, belittles you for it, is offended… it’s time to say bye.
Don’t drag it on any longer than it has to.
Trust me, there are PLENTY of other guys who are nice, sweet, and smart.
If he does hear you out and understand where you are coming from, then stay.
So don’t be afraid to date but don’t rush in ready to give your all to just any guy and don’t invest any more than you have to by giving someone too many chances when you should have listened to your inner-cringe.
Don’t be the girl who forces a relationship to work only to end up burnt out from not getting what you want and trying to make something out of nothing.