In the last two years, I talked about my marriage and ex-husband a lot.
How much my marriage destroyed me and how much my ex-husband treated me terribly.
But today, that has changed.
I have milked all the hurt and the lessons I could gain from that season in my life and it is time to move forward, live in the present, and embrace the future.
He is no longer my abuser.
He is just the guy I spent the better parts of my 20s with and no longer have significance in my life.
I no longer blame him for the nights I cried myself to sleep.
I no longer blame him for the times I locked myself in the bathroom for safety.
I no longer blame him for all the lying that he did.
I no longer blame him for all the anxiety he created in my life.
I no longer wonder what is wrong with me.
I no longer wonder what I could have done better.
I no longer wonder what I did wrong.
I no longer wonder why he chose other girls over me.
I no longer wonder if the truth as I know it is wrong – I no longer wonder if I really did push him to hurt me and lash out physically, if I really did push him to other girls as a way to test me.
His mind games no longer hold power over me.
From him, I learned that I am a daughter of a king.
I learned that I am valuable.
I learned that I never have to tolerate anything less than what I deserve.
I learned how I deserve to be treated.
I learned to set boundaries.
Most importantly, I learned to love myself and love others.
God has set me free.
He has broken the chains.
When I think of my marriage and my ex-husband, I no longer feel bitterness and frustration but appreciation and gratitude.
If I never left, I never would have received the blessings I have been given the last two years.
Having gone through such darkness only to come out with so much life on the other side is what gives me hope and joy.
And after having learned all that I can from that marriage, I no longer have to hold onto it – I no longer have to use it as a reference point in my life to gauge happiness.
God is my benchmark for happiness.
God became my foundation for life when I left my ex-husband.
He has given me so much in the last two years that I am ready to fully let go of my past and fully embrace what is set in front of me and indulge my relationship with Him.
This is the next season of my life.
I am no longer a victim nor a survivor.
I am a champion.
I wanted to share the closing of my past in order to spread hope.
Closure is possible.
Healing is possible.
Happiness is possible.
Peace is possible.
Laughter is possible.
But you need to take that leap of faith and trust God.
You need to let go.
Your next life starts from there.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.