Recently, I got really excited about my love life.
Because for a moment, a VERY brief moment, it seemed like it was going to go somewhere.
In one weekend, I met two guys the way I would like to meet a guy – organically.
One was at a basketball game.
The other was a guy I knew from high school.
Let’s call basketball guy Joe.
Joe sat in the row in front of me.
In fact, when he took a selfie of his son, I was in the back looking semi-good.
He showed me the picture.
If you’re new to my blog, these are my non-negotiables:
1. Be a Jesus loving follower
2. Be respectful and honor my choice to wait on sex until marriage
I like to cover these two points as quickly as possible (at least within the day).
When I told him about my wanting to wait until sex, he said he can honor that and that he was still interested in getting to know me.
Asking Joe about his faith, he told me he believes in Jesus and goes to church.
When I asked him about his church for the sake of conversation, he told me he went to an interesting church.
“What do you mean?” I replied.
“I go to a church where we worship the higher power under different names.”
Red flag for me.
God is God. He IS the higher power.
No one and nothing else is above Him.
When I shared this bit with my friend, she said, “Well, people also call Him Papa, maybe that’s what he meant?”
True.. I don’t always call God, “God.” I call him Dad and Father too, sometimes.
I figured maybe I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him more about it.
But he ended up ghosting me.
That’s fine. I don’t think a Christian would use the term “higher power” as synonymous to God anyhow and I’m not one to tolerate ghosting.
Blessed and released.
Let’s call the guy from my high school John.
He already knew I was waiting until sex but I don’t think he knew I only date guys who love and follow Jesus.
When the topic came up, I learned that he wasn’t a believer.
Both of these guys were sweet, kind, and thoughtful.
Well, Joe ended up ghosting me so that only means so much.
But I know that John is a kind-hearted man. He is just missing God.
(And yes, I invited him to church)
And that is what the majority of my dating life has been like this past year.
I have met so many great, amazing, sweet, thoughtful gentlemen.
But either they weren’t willing to wait until marriage with me or they didn’t have Jesus.
Or if they had both qualities, something was just misaligned and I knew it wasn’t going to last and it was better to end things before we both got too invested and dragged something that wasn’t going to last in the first place.
The devil will send you counterfeits.
It doesn’t mean these counterfeits are bad people.
But what it means is that they are not meant for you.
I know in that moment when you have to choose the path of continuing to be single or seizing the opportunity to get into a relationship, it can be hard, daunting, and frustrating, but this is where your trust in God is the most important weapon you have.
It doesn’t make sense to us but it doesn’t have to – God knows what He’s doing.
As hard as it may seem to turn down great guys, I choose to say, “yes,” to my love life.
I don’t want to gamble the love I have to give with a guy who doesn’t agree with my non-negotiables.
I don’t want to contaminate my heart with love, connections, and memories that should not otherwise be there.
I don’t want to deny myself of the love story God has already written down for me.
I’d rather keep my heart pure for my husband.
You get to choose who you want to love.
You get to choose who you invest and trust your heart, soul, and mind with.
You get to choose who you want to reflect God’s love and grace to.
Be an advocate for your love life.
I know it’s hard but I have full faith that it’ll be worth it.
Proverbs 3:5 NIV
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;