There are 5 types of men you NEED to stop wasting your time and energy on.
I don’t care how hot or how sweet he seems to be.
He’s playing YOU and quite frankly, we as high-caliber women just DO NOT have that kind of time.
Is the guy you’re currently seeing fit into these categories?
1. The Guy Who Rotates
You guys seem to be having great conversations! Maybe you guys have also been on a few dates. But no matter how well things seem to be going, he drops off the face of the Earth only to come back saying, “Sorry, work got really crazy! Are you free sometime soon?” a week or two later.
Kudos for the communication and the initiative. I can see why you want to keep things going. He seems to care and he seems invested. But if this is happening on a regular basis, sorry girl, he’s either in a relationship, or worse, married. Either that or he’s dating other girls and he’s not being open about it.
Unless you guys have discussed it openly and both are dating other people, you deserve better than a guy who fades in and out and you should be with someone who is willing to invest in you and you only.
2. The Guy with the Sweet Words
This guy can talk you up a storm. His wordsmith game is strong and he knows exactly what to say.
He makes you feel desired, beautiful, and loved. But his actions prove otherwise.
It’s an excuse after another, even if they seem legit.
You gotta give him a break after his grandma passed away, right?
Oh, and then the crazy work project he has going on.
Yikes, now his sister is in the hospital.
And oh man, now his car got rear-ended.
Maybe it’s not even excuses.
Maybe he’s active on social media yet he can’t take two seconds to text you.
True or not, a guy who is pursuing you will make an effort to see you and follow through with his promises and words.
He won’t just tell you that you’re beautiful, he will show you.
He won’t just tell you that he loves you, he will show you.
He won’t just tell you how much he misses you, He. Will. Show. You!
Get my drift?
If you accept his excuses and lack of effort now, your whole relationship will be just that – him making excuses and you picking up his slack.
Don’t fall for it.
3. The Guy Who Goes Halfsies
I’m already rolling my eyes at the, “independent women.”
I know. I get it. Cool. You can pay for your own meal.
You make your own money and you can take care of yourself.
Me too, girl.
But here’s the thing.
A guy who makes small investments like paying for your movie ticket and your meal is a guy who is more willing to take you seriously than a guy who makes you pay for your own date.
A guy who is willing to pay for more than a handful of dates is a guy who is ready to commit and willing to take YOU seriously.
A guy who makes you pay for your half is a guy who is stingy about jumping in with both feet. He’s a half-ass kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy that waits for YOU to show that you’re worthy enough for him.
And if you’re a guy reading this (or maybe you’re a girl thinking the same thing) and you’re thinking, “Well, that doesn’t seem fair. What if I end up having zero interest in the girl in person?”
Here’s what I have to say.
1. Find girls who are only looking to have fun. I’m sure they won’t mind paying for themselves since they most likely aren’t looking for a high caliber guy right now.
(And omg, let’s say this “no expectation, just for fun, see where this goes,” thing just happens to work out for you guys… don’t you think you as the man are going to want to treat her anyways?)
2. Talk to her enough to know that she’s at least worth investing in or take her on a free/low-cost first date with the intention to treating her on a second date if things go well.
3. Just don’t date. The mindset of not wanting to treat your potential future wife is unattractive and maybe you just aren’t there yet.
This also doesn’t mean the guy HAS to drop hundreds on a date. In fact, some of my best first dates have been free – hiking, walking at a park, picnics, etc.
What mattered during those successful dates was that I felt like I mattered.
4. The Guy Who Love Bombs
This is the guy who has your future planned.
He is successful and romantic.
He has a house for you to move into and doesn’t mind that you have kids and are willing to take them in.
Sounds great and all except for the fact that you guys have been talking for a week!
Maybe a few months at the latest.
Other red flags to look for guys who love bomb are clinginess and controlling behaviors.
They send you multiple text messages before you even get the chance to reply and they start requesting unrealistic and unhealthy demands from you like having you text everything what you are doing, a daily itinerary, maybe even selfies to prove you are where you say are with you said you are going to be with.
Be wary of these guys because they seem like great guys at first and they are slow to make such demands under the guise of love like wanting to make sure you’re okay.
If he seems to good to be true.. TOO soon with unrealistic demands and expectations, thanks but no thanks, next!
5. A Man-Child
This is the guy who still needs his mom and is really only looking to replace his mom and not seeking an actual wife.
He’s looking for someone to tend to his needs instead of seeking a partner.
He can’t a hold a job or has a job but has no ambition to do better for himself while he’s living rent free in his parent’s basement.
This is the guy who will charm you and suck you in so that you end up investing in him rather than the other way around.
Next thing you know, you’re paying for his phone, driving him to work, taking care of him when he’s sick while he ignores you and does what he want on his free time.
Getting sucked into relationships with these guys can be avoided when you love and value yourself more than your relationship status and when you are patient enough to see actions over words.
I have been in a narcissistic marriage and I know that it’s hard to see what’s coming at times.
But wasting time on a lot of these low quality guys can be avoided if you are patient enough to let their true colors shine.
It’s not to say that dating is about looking for red flags but don’t ignore it when you see it.