There’s nothing more heartbreaking than seeing an amazing woman settle for a guy after she leaves an abusive relationship because “at least” he’s a good guy.
Sometimes, an at least guy isn’t all that he’s cracked up to be.
He spends all his free time with his friends… but at least he has a job.
He hardly makes the effort to come see you… but at least he has a car.
He’s too busy to text you daily… but at least he’s sweet when he does text you.
He doesn’t go to church… but at least he believes in God.. or so he says.
He doesn’t take you out often… but at least he doesn’t hit you or puts you down and seems like an honest man.
At least he sees kids once in awhile…when it’s convenient for him.
Listen, just because he didn’t do what your abusive ex did doesn’t mean he’s a fantastic guy.
Just because he has a job, a car, is a responsible father (if he’s a single dad), has his own place, pays his own bills doesn’t mean you have to be with him if you are feeling any form of discontent or see red flags.
There are plenty of guys who have their lives put together.
But you have to love yourself enough and see your worth to realize that you deserve to be pursued.
You deserve to be a priority.
You deserve to be made time for, not left for seconds after he sees his friends, after he goes out for drinks, after he disappears for a couple of days doing who knows what.
You’re not a dog that should get scraps of his life.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”
You are a GOOD thing. You are going to be an amazing blessing in someone’s life.
And you should be treated like so.
I’m not saying he has to drop everything and be at your feet all the time.
But don’t let the status of his adulting life and the lack of abuse (though neglect is a pretty big one) be your only basis for a “good guy.”
He needs to show up and show you that he values you.
He needs to start investing in you. (Not right off the bat, that’s your judgment call depending on both of you and the pace of the relationship)
But when you are dating with the intention of getting married, both of you should be slowly making investments in each other to head down that road.
Your worth is found in God and a respectable man would see that and treat you appropriately.
Don’t settle for the “at leasts.”
Wait for the guy who sees your worth and wants to love you (imperfectly and humanly) as much as God loves you.