A trend that I see often when I connect with other women is that their past is given WAY too much power.
The funny (but it’s not funny) thing is, the first significant event that they share with me is more recent.
And when I help them realize that THAT point in time still isn’t enough reason to keep living in doubt, fear, shame, hurt, or bitterness, they say, “But you don’t get it. Even before that happened, I experienced THIS.” And they go back a few years with a different traumatizing experience.
And when I still stand firm that their past should not hold any power over them and that it IS possible to live a positive, healthy, happy life, they go further back..and further back..and further back..until we’ve reached childhood.
It doesn’t matter how far back you go and how traumatizing those experiences are.
You still have the power of choice.
The choice to keep going.
The choice to change the trajectory of your life path.
The choice to forgive and release.
The choice to pick happiness over hurt.
The choice to rediscover yourself.
The choice to recreate your life.
By saying this, I am not belittling your experiences.
I am not dismissing your wound.
All that you have experienced – the hurt, the betrayal, the neglect, they are all valid.
But it’s validity should not be the reason holding you back from living out your best life.
I know you probably don’t think I get it.
But I do.
I am turning 30 in less than a month and I would say the first 27 years of my life has been a joke. Literally trash.
I’ve been locked in a closet.
I was abused – I still have scars from it.
I wiped my mom’s blood off the kitchen laminated floor.
I’ve been left home alone at the age of 5 to take care of my 6-month old sister.
I hardly got the chance to do things a typical middle school or high school student did because my parents wanted me home to take care of my sisters – that’s when my social anxiety started to develop.
I was bullied.
I’ve been sexually harassed and raped.
I stayed in a toxic and abusive marriage for almost 9 years.
Those are the most “vanilla” memories that I’m willing to share.
I have just as much right as the next to go belly up and give up if I wanted to.
But I chose life.
I chose myself.
I chose faith.
Realize that your future has just as much power as your present does.
It’s up to you to decide which one you are wanting to give power to.
The past is great to use as a reference.
I learned who I did not want to become.
I learned how I wanted to treat others.
I learned I didn’t have to turn out a certain way just because of what I experienced.
What I have going on now…what God has promised over me..is what gives me strength and hope.
And I hope you will free yourself the chains of your past and allow the breakthroughs that are waiting to happen come into your life ❤