Change Your Focus

When I left my ex, I did not have the time to say, “I can’t.”
I had to just DO.

I didn’t care what it was.
I just knew that if I didn’t do SOMETHING, it would be game over for me and my kids.
We’d be homeless.
We’d have nothing to eat.
It would be hard.

I had to push my pride aside, forgive, and ask my parents if I can stay with them (I grew up abused).
I applied to every job possible (I work at a school and do not get paid over summer and I was kicked out in May, right when I got off for the summer).
I signed up to do Lyft.
I offered babysitting to friends and family.

Nothing I did was convenient for me.
If I got a job, I would have to find a sitter – hopefully family that will do it for free.
If I found someone, how often would they be willing to watch my kids for me?
I didn’t have everything figured out but I did whatever I can to survive.

Often times, I see so many women feeling “stuck.”
And I get it.

Being a single mom is the epitome of catch-22.
You need a job but to get a job, you need reliable childcare but to get childcare, you need a job.
Not to mention…childcare is EXPENSIVE.
Which means you probably need a second job which raises the question who is going to watch your child after childcare hours are over.


But this post isn’t to resonate with you. This post is to change your thought patterns.

Instead of thinking you can’t do this and that for this reason and that reason, think of your OPTIONS.

There are ALWAYS options.
Some options may not be ideal and not your favorite choice, but it’s an option that could help you get ahead (I’m not suggesting anything illegal btw. This could be anything between borrowing money or doing a job you don’t like, etc.).

Think of your options and then ASK or DO.

When I was offering babysitting services, I told them upfront that I would have to bring my kids and guess what? A lot of families were okay with it. Not EVERY parent was okay with it but there was an opportunity there.

It was better than nothing.

I had to ask my sisters if they can babysit my kids and I was nervous about that! I know at that age (they were teens/college age), they’d rather enjoy their summers with their friends and doing their own thing but asking is what got me some sort of supervision for my kids so I can work or drive for Lyft.

Fast forward a couple of years, both of my sisters now attend college out of state and my parents are too busy to watch my kids so now I rely on my neighbors.

Solutions don’t fall out of the sky until you actually take action.

There are so many different opportunities these days in 2019.

There’s Wag or Rover where you can walk other people’s dogs.
There’s Lyft or Uber and you can drive people around.
There’s babysitting/nannying.
There’s food delivery.
You can apply to go to school.
You can apply to different jobs.
You can start your own business.
Join an MLM business.

But they don’t do anything for you unless you take action and give things a try.
If it doesn’t pan out, it’s okay.

I once quit my job for an amazing opportunity.
I applied, went through the interview process and got hired.
I was there for three months before I quit because they kept messing up my paychecks and was living off $400 paychecks/month (I did a LOT of Lyft driving to pay rent and bills).
But I TRIED. I killed myself working vigorously for an opportunity that was supposed to bring financial stability but in it were lessons and experiences that I’m glad I was able to get.

The point is, when you think of reasons as to why you CAN’T, you’re not going to get very far.
But when you start thinking of your options, you’ll see that you’ll have many more doors and windows that you can open up and many can lead to other opportunities and solutions.

Think of solutions, not more problems.

This is something I am always telling my kids and it applies to us – be a problem solver.


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