Committing to Growth – No Dating for a Year

Yesterday on Sunday, April 21, 2019, I have decided to commit to a year of no dating.

For the past year and half, I had been actively dating (on and off).
When I first started dating, a lot of them were very negative experiences.
Guys who just wanted sex.
Guys who would ghost.
Guys who didn’t want to commit.
Guys who were rude and impolite.

But slowly, as I continued to grow and not only set my standards higher but living up to my own standards, the quality of guys have shifted.
Slowly they became guys who cared.
Guys who wanted something solid.
Guys who wanted a family.
Guys who were able to communicate.
Guys who knew there was more to love than just sex.
Guys who were a gentleman.

But dating those guys never turned into a relationship for one reason or another.

The biggest quality I look for in a guy is a guy who loves Jesus passionately.
I’m not expecting perfection.
But he has to value his relationship with God and have the desire to nurture that relationship and the desire to grow spiritually.

He has to know how to apologize and communicate through his emotions.
He has to be able to express his hurts, frustrations, fears, goals, dreams, ambitions.

I want a guy who has the mindset of wanting to provide, protect, and lead.
I want a guy I can be a goofy dork with and laugh with.

I want a guy who has goals, ambitions, and has a stable job.
A guy I can work together with towards one goal: glorifying God.
I want a guy I can both relax with and go on adventures with.
A guy to pray for and pray with.
A guy I can pray through the storms with and praise for the blessings with.

I want a guy that values his health.
A guy that has self-control and discipline.
A guy who understands that a relationship is about partnership and submitting to one another.
A guy who knows how to come back fighting harder when life knocks him down.

I want a guy who has been preparing himself to be a husband.

Sounds far-fetched, right?
Trust me, though my standards screams, “unobtainable,” I also have reasonable expectations.
I know he’s human.
I know he will make mistakes and say things in the heat of a moment.
I know we will have arguments and that we’ll each have quirks that’ll annoy the other.
I know that circumstances in life will put a strain in our relationship.

But in spite of the momentary lapses in anger, sadness, bitterness, hurt, a man who seeks God in every season, occasion, moment the good and the bad, is what I seek.

I’m looking for who he is as a person, not who he becomes when he falls into sin or makes mistakes.
Because we all do.

I sure know that I’m not the best person to be around when I fall into sin and lose myself in anger and frustration.

But all that being said, I want that guy to be with an amazing woman.

And so for the year, I am committing myself to both spiritual and self growth.

My faith is solid but I want to serve and surrender more.
I want to be in a better place in my life.
(Honestly, a year wouldn’t even be enough time for me to be where I want to be haha)
I want to break some bad habits and create good ones.
I want to clear my heart of any baggage that may be lingering.

I want to be the type of woman the type of guy I want would want to marry.

I want to be the wife in the marriage God is preparing me for.

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2 thoughts on “Committing to Growth – No Dating for a Year

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