Marriage isn’t the Final Destination

As a single mom thrown into the dating world, finding a tight-knit group of other single moms, and as a milliennial myself, I know for a fact that marriage is something we are all longing to have.

Because let’s be honest, most of us are working multiple jobs, if not, one job with long hours, running all the errands, doing what we can to maintain a decent looking home so it doesn’t look like a tornado torched through, and take care of our kids – obviously.

And lately, I’ve been noticing a trend.
Or maybe it’s the women I am now subconsciously surrounding myself with.
But none of us NEED a man.
We are independent, strong, and capable.

But other than gal pals and the occasional social nights that we try to fit into our busy lives, at the end of a long, hard day, we desire that friendship.
Someone to come home to and talk about our day.
Someone to cook dinner with or for or even better, come home to a dinner already made.
Someone to relax with after work and snuggle up on the couch with.
Someone to literally Netflix and chill with.
Someone to laugh with and have that occasional family fun with.

And this is our vulnerable point,
Are we checking to see if these guys are good enough to take us to the altar?
Or are we checking to see if these guy are good enough to grow old with?
Marriage seems to be the final destination…
When there’s actually a whole lot more to go after marriage.

I want to challenge all of us to think beyond marriage.
Marriage should not be the endgame (ha, see what I did there? I just watched Avengers: The Endgame – so amazing! K, sorry, back on topic).
My new endgame? My deathbed.

So when I meet a guy, just as I have said before in many of my previous blog posts, I look for consistency.
Is he doing what he’s doing just because he wants my attention? Is he bored? Does he want sex?
Or is he doing what he’s doing because he values my heart? Is this who he is as a person?

I recently made a new friend and he’s one of the good ones.
I have seen this guy literally take the shirt off his back and give it to someone who needed it more on a cold night.
He’s one of those guys that walks on the outside of the sidewalk.
I have seen him help push a car that died on the side of the road.
He’s not doing it for show.
It’s who he is.
And because I know who he is as a person, I know that he will make a good husband some day.
(I’m not into him because of an age difference in case you are wondering.. also because I’m committing to a year of singleness haha)

Basically, it’s not about what you are doing to win me over.
It’s not about the fleeting butterflies and the extravagant gifts.
It’s not about impressing me on the first date.

It’s about who you are.
It’s about your heart.
It’s about what you do before and after I’m yours.
It’s about us.

I don’t want someone to just take me to the altar.
I want someone to age with to my deathbed.

One day, I’d love to say, “I do.”
But more than anything, I’m looking forward to reminiscing at the love we shared as I lay on my deathbed.


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