Dating Do’s and Don’ts for 2020:
DON’T get your hopes up.
I know it seems exciting to get to know someone and everything in the beginning gives you butterflies but don’t start wondering if he’s the one or what your first date will be like.
DO takes things at face value. If a behavior or response raises a flag for you (notice I didn’t say RED flag), decide if it’s something you could tolerate.
You are NOT overreacting, being too dramatic, or anything between those lines. You are advocating for YOUR love story. You don’t have to tolerate anything you don’t want.
DO run and end things if you do see a red flag.
DON’T have sex so soon if you are wanting something serious. It works for some people but it doesn’t work for everyone. Sex complicates things. You create a bond that you don’t want to break. If you want a true evaluation of the guy, just don’t do it.
DO have a clear list of your non-negotiables. This means if you see this behavior, you’re done. He’s cut. Thank you, next. You’re not being shallow..you’re not being petty.
Again, you are advocating for yourself and your love story. It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks if you decide to end it with someone who chews with his mouth open habitually.
DO have a clear list of what you look for in a man. Top 5. You can have more but aim for the top 5.
Again, it doesn’t matter if people think your expectations are unreasonable. And? Are they marrying this person? No.
If your dream man earns 75k a year then bygoneit, find you a 75k+/year earning man.
DO focus on yourself. LOVE yourself first.
If you don’t, does that mean you don’t deserve love from others?
Definitely not. But I can tell you from personal experience that when YOU vibe higher, you attract better men.
DO aim to reflect the qualities on YOUR list.
Are you the person that the person you’re looking for would want to date?
For example, if you want to date a 75k/year earning man, do you think he’ll want to date someone that mismanages her money, spends frivolously, has high debt, and has no financial stability?
Maybe you’re so amazing that he can look past it but most likely not. Eventually the discrepancy in lifestyle and habits will cause problems
DO invest in a man wisely. This is mostly emotionally. Far too often, I see women who get head over heels too fast. And for what?
What has he done to show you that he even deserves your enthusiasm?
Again, this boils down to self-love. Sis, he should be excited that he gets to take YOU out.
DON’T try and win a man over with sex, food, gifts, a home, your hard earned money, homecooked meals, your car, and whatever else you have to offer.
He should be trying to win YOU over. You’re the prize here.
“Then what do I give him?”
YOUR PRESENCE. Your amazing self. Your smile. Your personality. Your ambition. Your stability. Your dreams. Your goals.
You have NO IDEA how VALUABLE those things are.
Im not opposed to giving once in awhile and treating your man out (ONCE exclusivity with the intention of building for a common goal has been made)
But we do it too soon.. creating a freeloader
You want a man with responsibility? Then give him some.
And he’ll either sink or swim. If he sinks. Bye ✌
DO enjoy life. You don’t need a man to start living. I know it’s hard with kids and possibly not a lot of money.
But that doesnt mean you cant have hobbies even in your home.
Even a simple action of putting on face masks, reading a book, setting a goal with a plan to achieve it, etc. can help life your mood.
Find a new hobby. Scrapbooking. Knitting. Take a cooking class. Hike. Collect something. Get into photography. It’s a big world out there.
Lots to explore and do.
When my kids were younger and less independent, we did “easy” things together like arts and crafts. Did I get a “mom” break? Technically no. But I was getting to just ENJOY my time making memories and…. lets be honest, not so pretty art.
But the memories and inside jokes last forever.
ENJOY your life.
DO talk about the hard things first. What is he looking for? What are you looking for?
It’s not going to work if he’s looking to fool around when you’re looking for marriage.
What are his goals and ambitions?
Is it to start up his own company, planting him firmly local?
And yours is to travel?
What if your goal is to create healthy money habits but he doesn’t care about spending money whenever he wants?
I’m not saying it’s impossible and that it can’t happen. But alignment matters.
And last but not least. DON’T worry.
You’re amazing. And whether or not a man is involved, you’re going to live a beautiful life.