I just wanted to share my thoughts as a means of encouragement.
But while going on a walk today and listening to a message.. I was pouring my heart out to God saying “when will it be my turn? I’d like to have a partner and someone to show my kids what a Godly marriage looks like.”
And God challenged my desires with this question…Do you really? Do you REALLY want a husband?
Because here’s the thing.
Ever since I left my ex now almost 4 years ago, I have been so happy despite my struggles.
He blessed me so much with amazing friends and opportunities and mended my relationship with my family (DV/abused).
And I was reminded of all the sacrifices and effort it takes to maintain a relationship.
The nuances. The compromise. The considerations. The sacrifices.
And YES! I would love to have a husband.
But right now. No.
Not at all.
I want all the time I want to focus on finishing my degree. Getting a house. Spending time with my kids. Making memories with my friends.
And CONTINUE to enjoy my freedom.
I don’t want to give up what I have now for a husband.
And there would be times when I would feel so frustrated for cutting off guy after guy (because I’m not desperate and not willing to settle) wondering if I’m being too picky or if my standards are unreasonable.
Or even on the flip side.. am I not good enough? Not attractive enough? Not smart enough? For the kind of man I desire?
But God placed a calmness in my heart saying that I’m hidden.
Because he knows I’m not ready. I know I’m not ready. At least not yet. And honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready or if I’ll ACTUALLY want to give up my singleness for a husband.
Does a part of me wish it would happen sooner than later? Of course.
But I’m so grateful for the season of being hidden.
It gives me time to spend time with God.
It’s giving me the time I need to prepare and accomplish all the desires that I have in my heart.
I would be miserable if I was in a relationship right now, even if he was my “perfect” guy because right now, I just want and need to be selfish.
So I wanted to share this with you ladies.
If you’re feeling frustrated in your singleness.
If you’re desiring a marriage but its not happening.
You’re probably hidden by God and for good reason.
And while you’re being hidden, He’s orchestrating the most beautiful love story for you.
Something worth being hidden for.
Stay hidden and enjoy this season.
Your marriage is going to be blessed and last a lifetime.
But your singleness won’t. So make the best of it while you can 💕